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Grp project today was kinda screwed.

No its not my group members or anything... My group members were fantastic! I was the screw-up. So interesting, is it not? You spent 4 solid hours with another group member to work on the script and then you get it all screwry during the actual presentation.

Damn I hate myself. I am a worldly-indulger. A cheap-thriller. I let my addiction get the better of me again.

To my group members: Sorry I caused a complete screw-up in the presentation just now. I did not realise that I caused it until later, during recess, when one of the classmates told me I was quite extra during the presentation.

It just made me think during the E maths and EL period. Did I do the presentation such that I would be in the limelight? Am I such a showoff? The answer to both questions, after massive soul-searching... is YES.

I really have a mental issue. Seriously.

Maybe it's because I feel... rather... different in whatever I do. I would not elaborate because it might hurt people and I'm trying my best not to hurt anybody, unlike what I did last year...

Like now, I'm thinking... why God made me in the first place? He must have a reason for depositing me into this world, but why ME???? Sian, all I want is to be close to God, but apparently got a lot of stuff standing in my way. And I keep knocking my head into one and heading back to Square One.

I feel so cheated sometimes.

Why do people like to boast about what they have? Does it bring a sense of superiority to the other party? Does it rub salt in the other person's face? I do not know.

God is really the solution to life's little tussles. But it is super difficult to ask God to help us when we are pressured from all sides.

Ok... had no idea what I was typing again