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"When you cry, you cry alone. When you laugh, the world laughs with you."

Mr Ng TK mentioned this line yesterday during CME lesson. Technically it is true... When you fall or fail from anything, society just leaves you behind in the lurch. When you are successful, society tries to grab something from it. Well, this is how the world works.

Sometimes, I wonder, is that the reason why the world is so competitive? Just because failure will hold you back big time? Even myself, sometimes whenever someone screws up, half of me wants to hang back and help, while the other half wants to move on.

When you screw up, society expects you to pick up the broken pieces all by yourself. But whenever you succeed, society will try to grab as much of the spoils as possible. This is so true.

To Com: I'm really sorry I screwed that thing up so bad. I'll try to retrieve it, and you have all rights to just yell in my face.

I screw up a lot in many things. Many things in fact. From playing for service to CCA, from school to even my walk with God. I am like such a screw-upper (is there such a word?). Come to think about it, I have a probablity of 9 to 10 for screwing up something in which I really like to do.

I was reading this book, titled "The Power Of A Praying Teen" by Stormie Omartian. In the chapter titled "Lord, Help me know you better" had some of the names of God inside... Here are a few which I find really powerful and lifting (in relation to my screwing up)

God is my Strength (Psalm 43:2)
"Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me; let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell"

God is my Friend (John 15:15)
(Jesus says) "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's buisness. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you."

God is my Hiding Place (Psalm 32:7)
"You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance."

God is my Helper (Hebrews 13:6)
"So we say in confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?' "

God is my Comfort (Romans 15:5)
"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus."

"God, I thank You for being my comforter. God I thank You that when things get really out of hand, I can run to You, knowing that You would be waiting there to hear me and to guide me. God I thank You that You sent Your son, Jesus Christ, down to die for our sins so that we can enjoy such a powerful relationship with You. We are made righteous in Your eyes through Jesus, and God I thank You for that. God I know that I sinned a lot again today... including that sin which I knew full well that it is wrong, yet I still do it... God I pray that You will forgive me and that God You will teach me how to repent and how to hear Your still small voice."

Sometimes, all I want to hear is God's voice. I still cannot hear Him when He speaks... and it is actually quite discouraging.

The devil is evil. He made bad things play over and over again in my mind. I thought that it was my own brain disorder, but, while reading the above-mentioned book, I realised that it is the devil who plants all this rubbish in my mind to try to drive a wedge through my relationship with God.

If only I can hear what God has to say about everything (my life, my purpose on earth etc.)

Going back to my guitar and my personal worship now... just realised that I cannot sing any songs that are in the keys of E, B and F#... my best are in keys of A and G... I think...