(P.S This post is an exception from the introduction above)


I believe I will get a full promotion when I enter the army... "Door Tapper"... (as compared to "Server Tapper" or "Hacker")

Yesterday's CIP was WILD... After History class, the lot of us (cannot remember who) took 246 to JP for breakfast. Some went to KFC, others to Macdonalds (aka Cheapskate service).

When we gathered at the stage, the attendant came and talked with the entire class... At that point then we realised we were not gonna take the bloody tin cans... we were supposed to sell VALUE PACKS... consisting of 2 notebooks, 15 collar pins and 18 handphone straps. The notebooks and the collar pins goes for $2, while the handphone straps goes for $3. Honestly speaking, the notebooks is so worth the $2!

The security guard said that we cannot sell any of the stuff in JP and had to get out of the area. Jia Wei, James Lim and myself trooped off to the JP carpark first before heading for the nearby block of flats. After a number of FAILED attempts by me, James took the lead of the pack and along the way, we met up with Yoga from 3C. So here's the team:

James Lim: English Diplomat and Handler of the TAR ("Terriorist-Hater" Automatic Rifle). Ammunition: Rude insults, along with a "Conviction" Five-Seven handgun

Jia Wei: Representative to the Chinese Liberation Army, armed with a Rocket Launcher. Ammunition: The MF(Middle Finger) Rocket and Rude HE Grenades


Yoga: Runner and Radio Man. Holds the P90 Submachine gun. Ammunition: Silent AP (armor piercing) bullets.

Yong Quan (me): Head Tactician and Support Soldier, holds a malfunctioning AK-47. Fueled by fear of speaking. (only used once)

A question first...

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING IS THE CLOSEST REACTION WHEN YOU KNOCK ON DOORS TO TRY AND SELL THINGS?

A. The door slams in your face.
B. "Ignorance is Bliss"
C. Deceptive Replies
D.They actualy buy the stuff.


The answer is.... E: All of the above along with other SNIDE reactions.

When we first entered the block (forgot which number it was), we had a planned tactic. Whenever we sell something, the money will go to A. The next thing sold will go to B etc. So we sold evenly and no one lost out. I did not want to speak as I had failed 3 times... and as usual, if you read the bottom post, once failure happens, I cannot let it go so easily... I keep dwelling on it. When finally the rest asked me to talk once, I reluctantly agreed, and prayed:

"God, help me to speak. Give me strength in Jesus name, amen."

And, at the next door, that guy was so nice, he bought all 3 of the items!

Here are the common reactions our fearsome four got:

(Note: red colour means that its one of the guys, blue means the house owner)
(knock knock)
Yes?
Hi, we are helping the Children Cancer Foundation (kena cut off)
I'm sorry, I'm just the tenant. The landlord is out.


(knock knock)
Hi, we are helping the Children Cancer Foundation... ... ... would you like to purchase any of the items to help these children?
Where's your idenfication?
Erm... sir/madam, we are from a school. We do not get a cent out of this...
I know, where's your idenfication?


(knock knock)
Hi, little one, are your parents home?
Sorry, they are at the toilet


(knock knock)
Hi..
(SLAM)


(knock knock)
Hi, we are from...
HAR? SPEAK LOUDER LEH!
WE ARE FROM THE CHILDREN...
SPEAK LOUDER! I CANNOT HEAR YOU!


(knock knock)
Hi, we are from the...
(gibberish)

There you have it... the most common negative reactions.

It's just so weird. We came to one particular house and the door was wide open. Being polite soldiers, we stood outside and knocked on the open door. There were large fish tanks at the doorway, followed by a PLASMA TV and a SURROUND SOUND SYSTEM in the house! The sofa set looked very expensive. When the guy finally answered the door, we did our work. And the guy just said "Sorry I got no money."

"Dude, you got a bloody TV that is much more expensive than my electric guitar, you got a stupid fish tank that would cost thousands to maintain and here you are, cheaply lying to us that you got no money. Do you think that we are so retarded that we cannot see the stupid big fat plasma TV behind you?"

Singaporeans are just misers.

Our dear English Diplomat was a little racist... whenever he saw a doorway with the Muslim words thingy (I have no idea what that is... forgive me) at the top, he would call them terrorists... We are being diplomatic soldiers fighting for a noble cause (I hope)... I don't think you can anyhow call Muslims terrorists. Although the main HQ for Terrorism is in the MIddle East, it is wrong to say that all Muslims are terrorist because terrorism orignated from the Middle East. I believe Singaporean Muslims are also geared against Terrorism... besides Mas Selamat.

Talking about Mas Selamat... Find out more in my next post!