Picture this. P.S the example is not really true... I am with Drama not Debate this year. And yeah, about the lamp post, its a funny story actually... =D

You got a very bad day at school. You forgot to bring your homework, you forgot to revise for your test, you forgot to work on your script for the upcoming debate competition and to top it all off, you tripped and slammed your head onto the lamp post during the 2.4km run.

The moment you get up, you start to gripe. Oh, blame the Singapore education system for all the work, blame your tuition teacher for loading your head with irrelevant information, blame your shoes for tripping you during the run, blame your debate trainer for putting too much pressure on you until you cannot think any more.

It's the same being a Christian sometimes right?

When circumstances seem to overpower you, or you fall to temptation, instead of admitting our mistake, pride comes in the picture sometimes and we start to think "Hey, I asked God for protection from ________. How come I still fall to it? God are you joking with me?" and we start to blame God about the bad things that happened in our lives.

Obviously I am no exception. I think I complained to God a lot too.

When I was P6, I was like... aiming for top schools like ACS(I) or SJI (RI is too extreme for me liao.) I studied and prayed. I kept asking God to put me into the good schools and stuff. I aimed my T-score to be like 248 AT LEAST. On that day itself, my hands shook really hard when I grasped the paper. My smile immediately dropped to a frown when I saw the three... condemning (at that point of time) numbers. "224". My morale crashed and burned. I dunno. At that point of time, even going to Kool Club was a demoralising time for me. All my peers got higher marks and they got into much better schools. Perhaps my score was one of the lowest in the entire P6 cohort, I never knew. At that time, I just fired at God. Kept asking him why the ____ (guess the rude word I was using. No prizes if you get the right answer) I got those marks. Why in this big, fat, ___________________ world I got to this ___________ school. WHAT???? What in the world is God trying to do to me? Play some games on me??? I was so mad and angry with God that I just shot out at Him.

Then came Sec 1. Another harrowing year. I was rather impressed with the councillors at school at that time. Really aspired to be one of them. Imagine the thrill I had when I was shortlisted to be a student councillor. I thought God had this path planned for me to go, so I went...
...
...
and the next thing I knew, I got booted out of the path and the door slammed in my face. (figuratively, of course). I got angry with God. Again. Started to complain about my rubbish Sec one life, how I became some weirdo in school. A lot of anger and confusion raged within me at that time.

Oh yeah, a footnote, I was not close to God at that time compared to the recent months.

Then, in came the final blow. I guess this incident caused a lot of bitterness within me towards God... ever since... long ago.
To cut the long story short, I tried to sign up for NUSHMS. Failed. MISERABLY.

Ever since then, I kept seeking God for direction in my... drifting life.

I still dun know what my direction is yet.

What really amazed me just now was this. How can God even tolerate our constant berating and complaining?

Take for example the Israelites long time ago (the book of Exodus). They complained about the water (Exodus 15:23-24), they complained about the lack of bread and meat (Exodus 16:3). God did not scream at them or whack them with a metal rod. Instead, God provided for them. Sweet water (Exodus 15:25), manna and quail for food (Exodus 16:4-5, 13-16).

God cares about our complaints and yes, I think God does not like them to be fired at Him too. But God's love for us is stronger than His hatred for our complaints.

zzz... keep getting distracted until I forgot my main idea for this post... I'll leave it here first, until I remember... I got short term memory...