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Yesterday's service was quite awesome!

Haha, with a new song to lead the set, I guess many people were hyped up... Except for me. I dunno... was really disturbed over my past week and when I went for yoof service yesterday, suddenly I just felt like going off or something... really sian and stuff.

However, the message was very good. When pastor was mentioning the part about the reason for being compassionate about your lost friends, that point kind of hit me... again.

I wanted to start a prayer group in school last year, I think some of you might know. However, it did not work out. People were either not interested or cannot make it... At that point, I thought about this... "incident" and felt really discouraged and stuff...

The next event that came to my mind was the Valentines' Day thing. Prayed about it, gave out the gifts. Haiz... got really discouraged too when no replies came back. Someone even kindly lost the bag for me...

Yeah, seeds were sown, I have to agree...

I want to do something for my school actually. I want to see people saved. Problem? I think my own life is crappy enough. Besides the time that I have very little of... I still have a lot of loose ends I need to trim up.

After service, went for some meeting with Bernadine, Clara, Joel and Josh. The meeting was to check on the CG Interns and a progress report... Actually I had been thinking about it, and I keep getting the naggin' feeling that I am not really suited to be a CGL/ACGL... xD Anyway because being a CGL/ACGL would means a lot of responsibility, as your members' spiritual lives are in your hands (sort of... ahh you get what I mean). So, if I cannot handle my own spiritual life well, then how in the world should I have the responsibility over my members' spiritual life?

I guess being a CGL/ACGL also means that you are a role model to your members, in many senses, like in your academics, passion for God, spiritual life etc. Am I a role model? (someone from the back shouts "NO!!!"... ok I should stop these lame j0kes...)

I dunno actually... sian

Then, when am I actually ready to step forward? The answer I gave was that I'll wait till God calls. However, yeah I got to agree with what Joel said, after thinking about it. This is sometimes an excuse to stay away from service.

Yet, how in the world would I know when I myself am ready to be a CGL/ACGL? Honestly, I have no idea.

But I can safely say that the meeting left me more confused and unsure of my current position and how to proceed after March.

Dinner was a rather... enjoyable session... I got to know Bernadine better... =)

Going off... need to do work...

P.S I think Henry Seeley looked a bit evil at some points of the video, when half his face was covered in shadow. (Henry Seeley is one of the worship leaders and guitarist in the Planetshakers band btw)

Labels: CG, saturday