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I must say. I am utterly disappointed.

Found this gerbil suicide picture online... Quite cool... (RANDOM)

Yesterday, just emo-ing thru the entire carnival. Although I played ROCKBAND and have a 94% accuracy overall and played a PERFECT SOLO (I was the siao gila guitarist), but I was still rather discouraged yesterday.

Maybe its just me. Maybe I am a bad host, unable to get the people I bring to be enthusiastic about the whole thing.

After they left and stuff, while waiting for the 4pm service to start, I went to the drums set at level 2 and rammed a beat. Without really knowing what I was doing, I got a satisfactory beat out and even managed to do some stunts. Kuang San, Nicholas and Zenda wandered into the room at different times, and thought I could play drums...

Actually I cannot play at all. I dunno, I managed to play some stunt yesterday cos... I guess I was running the scenario on Friday again my head and I was rather irritated and frustrated by the whole affair... and took it out on the drum set.

I would not have minded if you told me the truth. At least Melvin told me on Thursday that he did not feel comfortable coming down for the BLAST. At least Jianhan did not cock up excuses.

However, for the two of you, I am utterly disappointed. I trusted you guys to make it. How would you like it if you invite someone down for an event, and after getting their assurance that they would be there, and have them tell you that they cannot make it cos of some lame reason or the best reason of all "I FORGOT!"

It's not the forgetting part, after all I also forget a lot of things. However, I expected better. If you really wanted to come down, I guess you would remember.

You, on the other hand... I am even more disappointed in you. If you do not want to come down, you could just tell me straight in the face. Instead of coming up with some cock-and-bull story. Seriously, it's very obvious you are lying. If someone tells me the truth (or close to it), I would just let it go. However, it really infuriates me when you told me that lie. I trusted you. You said you would try your best. If you really tried your best, you would be able to shift your "tuition" away to another time. You had a whole week to do so. If the teacher said that there is no other time, if you told me on Wednesday or Thursday, then it would be fine. I guess I am, as how Jianhan puts it, GULLIABLE.

Damn. You just blew it man. Big time.

I'm not pissed or angry now. No point. I know that it's not my decision, it would be God's and His would be the final decision. However, from this I can see that there is no way I can trust you any further. See, both you and Jianhan told me on Friday night. The difference is that Jianhan did not come up with the excuse. He just plainly said "I'm sorry, but I would have to reject your offer." No reason, never mind. I respect that. I trust whoever that gives me truth when I need it.

If you are reading this post, take it with a pinch of salt. Stop living in self-denial (as quoted by Shawn). You kept asking me how to improve. I told you how. However, if you are not willing to make that change yourself, if you keep maintaining that pride inside you and you keep thinking to yourself that you are so good and stuff, face it. YOU WILL DIE FLAT ON YOUR FACE. Pride is a sin, let me remind you again. Pride caused the devil to be where he is today. Pride caused many today to feel that "I don't need a God to tell me what to do."
"For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." Luke 18:14

You can run from it, but it will catch up with you eventually. You say that this teacher's lessons are good and you criticise someone else for being sarcastic to the teacher. Half an hour later, I see you sleeping during that particular teacher's lesson. Please, get real. You say you can do without friends. Can you really?

I am saying this not to embarass you or puncture your overly-inflated pride, but these words are from my heart, what I really want to say to you.

I am not saying that I am perfect. I know, for one, that I am sensitive. Do I run from it? No. Obviously I don't embrace it, but I try to find a way to cure that ailment, by prayer and petition to God. Only God can help us with our weaknesses. I hope you understand that.

All that was through my mind when I was drumming yesterday. There were other things to my discouragement too... Like the low attendance (overall), for example...

However, I thank God for James Ng's salvation yesterday! God be praised!

I guess a lot of load on some of us were removed yesterday when we had a mini impromptu worship session after the 4pm service.

Vocals: Jessica, Melena, Hilary, Kathleen, Tianyi
Bass: Jon Seet, Matthieu, myself
Acoustic Guitar (plugged): Joshua Teo, Minjia, Jon Seet
Acoustic Guitar (unplugged): Joshua Teo, Chris Chang, Jessica, Joel, Tianyi
Keyboard: Jessica, Melena
Electric Guitar: Tianyi, Jon Seet, myself
Drums: Jon Seet, Joshua Teo, Joel, Tianyi
Chords Searcher/Scroller: Kathleen
Cameragirl: Kathleen

Hopefully Kathleen posts the video up soon...

We just picked up instruments and played random songs, even merging various songs together. I'm not sure about the rest, but during that time, I felt free... really felt like I was in God's presence... I totally cheered up at that time. Listed below are the songs that we played and sang to... it's like really random.

The Stand (Tried drumming... screwed up badly.. =D )
One Way/ Happy Day/ Tell The World medley
Your Name High
My Future Decided
Perfect Love (the only song I played bass)
You'll Come
Till I See You
Solution
Praise You
Spongebob Squarepants Campfire Song Song =)

Way to go, Jon Seet! Our potential drummer!
Kathleen, consider worship leading.. =)

That's about all I got to say so far, I guess...